Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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