He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
