I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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