I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
