im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
