I hate all girls vehemently.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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