It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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