like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
