im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
