cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
