Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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