just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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