I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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