What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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