Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
