dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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