Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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