just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
