not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
