NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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