I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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