So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
