So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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