i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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