Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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