it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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