Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
