Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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