I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
