He asked to "fluff my boner.."
there's paper in my vomit.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
