well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
