...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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