I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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