just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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