Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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