i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
