"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Houston, we have a blender
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
