Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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