"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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