i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
