In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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