Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
