so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
