so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
