HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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