the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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