If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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