white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
