She announced her abortion via fbk
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
