Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
