I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize