If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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