A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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