Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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