My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
