I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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