I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
