Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize