i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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