Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize