she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
