I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
