glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
