I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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